Monday, October 28, 2013

You Hit It - You Get It!


Its a rule from the sandlots and schoolyards across America and the world - You hit it, you get it. While the usual sandlot ground rules require the batter who struck it to dig among the bushes or climb the neighbors fence, braving dogs & grandmothers wrath in an effort to retrieve the game ball, my suggestion for baseball embraces the literal meaning of the statement.

Major league hitters should be given the baseball for every clean hit they tally. Why not? They earned it. They hit it, they should get it.

 THROWN OUT ANYWAY
Andruw Jones table would have plenty more!
Those orbs are usually discarded, a safely hit ball means it hits the dirt or grass and thus is rendered useless due to blemish or scuff. Even when a baseball is hit safely and returned to the pitcher, he often doesn't want to use it, and asks for a new one.

The ball is then handed down to the minor leagues or used for batting practice. It wouldn't be too much of a loss to let those that actually fall for big league hits in games that matter get handed over to the players that knocked them around the yard.

A VISUAL RECORD
It would give visual evidence to the statistically incredible, a measurement of the eyes means so much more than reading a number. When we see a flood, its WAY more impressive than when we read about it. How cool would it be to have a Hall of Fame exhibit with every baseball hit by Cal Ripken Jr?

He stole them, but didn't keep them
I got this idea from seeing the old photo of Maury Wills, sitting on a pile of bases. They were symbolic, representing his then-historic basestealing record. Of course as a young boy I asked and was told no, they didnt really give him the bases. I thought they should have.

Of course back then, the cost of equipment was prohibitive.


NO LONGER ON THE CHEAP
These days however, its quite different. In an age when MLB spends thousands on making sure every cup in the dugouts say "gatoraide" there is no excuse to be stingy with a ten dollar baseball. Many baseballs are wasted during the course of a game, most teams prepare more than seven dozen baseballs per game!

OTHER GUYS GET EM
In fact, there is no complaint when a teams closer ends the game and walks away with the ball. When a fielder makes an inning ending catch he often leaves the field of play with the sphere. A catcher who ends up with strike three in his mitt to end an inning will often carry it back to the bench with them.

GOOD PENMANSHIP
So my proposal is simple. After a guy gets a hit, the ball is rolled to that guys dugout. Once its there someone should write the date and who hit it, as well as the career hit # for that player. It could also have the pitchers name or any other significant details involved. If an RBI is collected, that could be included on the panel.

Its the same thing already done when a player gets their first hit, or for other important career marks.
Thats a keeper!


The player could then keep it, give it away, donate it to charity for auction or even just let MLB sell it. Already authenticators have moved into most MLB ballparks, which could boost their business as well as feed a major collectors niche of game used items.

Well, thats my plan, though I hesitate to put it out there. Its not like MLB is having any money problems. In fact. they have put out the help wanted sign and are hiring...



MLB NEEDS HELP STRINGING US ALONG
I noticed that MLB is looking for a few employees. They need stringers in several major league cities - a stringer is the person who puts the results of each pitch and each play into the computer for things like MLB AtBat App, Yahoo gameday, MLB gameday and the like.
 
Am I watching the game? Well, sort of...
 WHO IS THE STRINGER?
You know the stringer, hes the one who inputs the info you see when you cant watch the game on tv and have to use one of the horrid online apps.

Yeah, hes the one you yell at when it takes four minutes to update a three-two pitch with the bases loaded.

Hes the one who sometimes goes home at 10pm eastern, leaving you staring at the screen of a west coast game with no end.

Hes the one who goes to the can between innings, leaving you wondering whats going on for ten minutes & then posts what happened all at once so you cant tell how the runs scored.

"on field delay"
Hes the guy who sums up a play involving a brushback pitch followed by the hitter charging the mound that leads to a benches clearing brawl including punches, ejections and a streaking fan in the outfield with the three simple words "on field delay".

We love that guy, can't wait to get his job and be just like him!

MLB JOB REQUIRES WHAAA?
Most of the requirements to be a MLB stringer were obvious - living the city of the team you string for, being able to get there an hour before the game, literacy, etc.

The weird one? You have to use AOL Instant Messenger.

AOL? Are they still in the league?
A THOUSAND hours FREE? Too good for a car salesman like Selig to pass up!
I used to know someone who was on AOL, back when Bill Clinton was president. So now we know how old Bud Seligs desktop is.


BISCUIT NOTES:

I suggested to the team that they hold a contest to design new Biscuit road uniforms. It could be a good way to get some extra notice for the team and find novel ideas for the jersey. On the downside it could lead to a hideous winner from a submission made by a sponsor's toddler or colorblind crosstitching auntie.

For my part, I would like a basic road gray with two color trim highlighting a blue script "Montgomery" across the chest. It would be nice to see the use of the city name, as it has yet to appear on any Biscuits field uniform.

WORLD SERIES DIET = NO BISCUITS!
No member of either World Series team played for the Biscuits, but a few on the rosters have played against us. By my count Jake Peavy, Adam Wainwright, Jarrod Saltalamacchia, Stephen Drew, David Ross, Andrew Miller, Ruby De La Rosa and Pedro Ciriaco are all former opponents at Riverwalk Stadium.

There was speculation before the Biscuits inaugural season that Jonny Gomes would be on the first Skitz roster list, but he was sent to Durham where he spent a full season in Triple-A. He couldn't even grow a beard then!


LASTLY
Be prepared for an overhaul on the biscuits website. So far they have resisted joining the cookie-cutter sites other teams in the league have, but are under pressure to conform. Bummer, as the Biscuits put more work into their well crafted website in a month than that league site seems to get in five years. Its like punishing the creative kid for making the rest of the class look dumb. Heres hoping its just a minor change to what should be an award winning website and is hands down the best in the league if not all of MiLB.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Or A Sleeveless Gray Jersey With The B Logo Above The Heart.

Anonymous said...

And Maybe They Can Make A Custom Road Jersey Contest.
Convince Them,Dr Miraculous.
Here's My Idea.
Maybe Make A Gray Jersey With Blue "Biscuits" On Chest And Use The Alternate Cap But With The M Logo And A Blue Brim.