Tuesday, February 26, 2013

The Truth About Big Mo


I would like to start by going back in time a little.....


Back to Evan Longoria driving in a run vs the Mobile BayBears in 2007!
Not a bad start to the video side of the blog, right? Longo already had the batting stroke down and it would not be long before he would be firmly entrenched at the hot corner for Tampa. Now he is a new dad, congrats to evan and jaime on their baby girl!

NOW

AS PROMISED

BIIIIIIIIIIIG MO!!!!!




I recalled this day as being Big Mo's first introduction to the fans, but I seem to be wrong about that. Either way you can hear me muttering at one point something to the effect of "if this thing crashes I am gonna get it on vid". Gladly there was no crash, though it is the only time I have seen a helicopter land at Riverwalk Stadium during a game! Certainly the biggest entrance from the Biscuit mascot to date.


BIG MO


What do we know about Big Mo?
His Bio tells us

Big Mo
The pants will ride up with wear
BIRTHDAY: May 23, 2003
DRAFTED: 1st round, April 2004
JERSEY NUMBER: 04
HEIGHT: Seven Feet
WEIGHT: More than a baker’s dozen
FAVORITE FOOD:
Biscuits, of course!
FAVORITE MUSIC: Bring On The Biscuits and Take Me Out to the Ballgame
FAVORITE QUOTE:Now you tell me, if I have a day off during the baseball season, where do you think I’ll spend it? The ballpark. I still love it. Always have, always will.
– Harry Caray
ABOUT BIG MO: Big Mo is a fuzzy and fun Biscuit Lovin Beast. Big Mo is one-of-a- kind! Big Mo is responsible for entertaining fans young and old. He’s out at Riverwalk Stadium each and every game. Seven feet of baseball love, hailing from parts unknown, the eighth wonder of the world and the Biscuits’ biggest fan!



So who is the REAL Big Mo???

We will break down the Mascot scouting report later, some of these notes leave the details in the dark. Ah but the best way to learn about wild creatures is to observe them in their natural habitats. So here we see Big Mo in several different situations.

Big Mo on-field attack of Fernando Cortez in 2004



 Big Mo used to be seen on the field between innings horsing around with players. There were incidents. Often. After that first year he didn't go back across the white lines for a long time. I guess someone sent a message and Big Mo got it.


Was Big Mo called to the carpet for his antics?

So now we see "the beast" turning an unblinking eye towards different prey. One a little less able to defend itself. One that wont go crying to the manager or GM.

Would you let a "biscuit loving beast" hold your baby?
Big Mo loves children. From the looks of it, he is about to enjoy this kid in one bite. At the park we have a saying for how to handle Big Mo... "Dont make eye contact".
Uh-oh, I think its spotted us....


If further evidence is needed for the reader to suggest a reason to give a wide berth to the "eighth wonder of the world", I am happy to oblige. Often we are judged by the friends we keep and the circles we travel in, but who is Big Mo hanging out with? See for yourself.....

Who your mother warned you about

As we have seen, Big Mo is a tough character, attacking players, hanging out with the hardened drunks, snatching children from parents arms, hijacking aircraft, accosting fans and players alike.

smiling but nervous
While Big Mo has been trained well enough to do the dances with the Biscuit Bunch, they still feel a need to employ a handler for the creature. Anytime Mo is wandering the stands during the games, there is a staffer or two close by. I suppose its just in case, you never know how a wild carpet covered creature will behave in a crowd under the lights. Perhaps one of those folks with a Biscuits logo on their golf shirt has a cattle prod hidden as a contingency plan should Mo go rogue suddenly.





Big Mo - The Scouting Report

another Big Mo photobomb
Mo is obviously intelligent enough to dress itself, though it cant differentiate between long pants and shorts.  Which it should, since its essentially a bi-pedal Snuffleuphagus - the mopey muppet friend of Big Bird. If you are going to walk on two legs, you probly need pants, unless you are a Warner Bros pig, but thats a different blog entirely.


The Bio says Mo was a first round draft pick in 2004, so that could be a first round MASCOT draft? Which begs the question, who did we pass up for this guy?
2004 olympic mascots
Whatcha drinkin Ronnie?

Big Mo implies his home is at the ballpark, invoking a Harry Caray quote about getting the day off. This should be a big clue, as we all know Harry spent more time in bars than ballparks and hung around with less than savory fellows.

As seen above, Big Mo is not above being seen with known boozers, and even Young Boozer has been known to be seen with Big Mo. If that doesnt say something, I dont know what does. And dont tell me. I dont want to know.




THE TRUTH ABOUT BIG MO


Mo's offseason home
The truth is that Big Mo lives in a pickup truck down by the river, parked in an overnight parking lot near the stadium. He hangs out and drinks beer to kill time until the next ball game. Or in other words he is the Rod Beck of the mascot world. Not that its a bad thing, just not something you can put on your resume or in the program bio.



Mo begs for attention
Mo does get offseason gigs for appearances and enjoys the work as well as the recognition. But he still seems to be the kind of creature that will do anything to attract attention in desperate cries for help.
Perhaps thats why Big Mo is guarded about his origins, "hailing from parts unknown" is easier to say than admitting the truth sometimes.

Its a sad offseason existence for a fuzzy carpet faced creature, loving baseball in an empty stadium while wearing a home made Santa suit. He is lovable, but a little depressing, waiting for spring to come again.



Hey lady, wanna see me do the YMCA for a quarter?

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